This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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