hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
