Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize