My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
