Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
