I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She told me I should be a condom model.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
