your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
