I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize