i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
