i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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