Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize