Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
