i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
apparently the secret to your success is patron
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize