i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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