He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
