Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
