I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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