i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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