their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
