I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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