is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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