I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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