yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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