Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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