I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
