could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
