honey bunches of taint.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize