Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
