LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
