At least make sure they are 18
Why
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
pop tarts are not kleenex
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
