Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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