i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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