Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
