Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
