I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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