DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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