Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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