"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
