I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
