I'm drive I can fine osifer
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
