We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
