I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
