Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize