YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
