some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
