True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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