So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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