He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
