thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
