Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hippo gnu deer
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
