It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
