be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
