im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just forgot I was standing up.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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