I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize