Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize