We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
