I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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