I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
operation harelip BJ is a go
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
