Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
