i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
